[	Tags	|	blue!	]
[	Current Mood	|	good	]

hooooo!!!ok i dont even know why im starting the entry this way.
hahahaa.something new frm me i gez.hah!
oh well, so today the three best friends went home together.
and it is gg to be the same for tmr!oh yeah!
fun fun fun.hee.(:(:(:!!!
ok wad did i do today?
no more IS lesson actually but still went to sch.
wad a hardworking student!haha!
study study study.
exam is like nex week!im not fully prepared yet.
esp AEL.im gona ask shamil soon.hee.
ok so just now studied with yu jun.am supposed to haf that requiz
but that kuku teacher change the venue and didnt inform so yea wad a
waste.i just got to know that.hais.
ouh.and then,hp tag along to study but for awhile.coz he went soccer-ing!
i know such word dont exist but i dont care.hee.
BF then came.poor thing her.having migraine all these.
ok so studied till 5 then off to meet syazzy.

oh yeay!i cant wait.gg to ISLAND CREAMERY with the besties!

yeay yeay yeay!ice-cream!!!(:(:(:

whee~

[	Tags	|	shucks!	]
[	Current Mood	|	pissed off	]

what a day!first of all i dont think u guys wld want to read this long entry which are full of vulgarities.
i just feel like letting out these feelings inside.
im not doing this because i want to take revenge on you but i hope u wake up la!
stop thinking abt urself.anw,today then i do realised who are my true frens.
i sumhow feel bad because i drag u guys into the problem.im sry.


i just dont understand this stupid ppl.they just got nth to do.
talking and cursing other ppl when they themselves do not put in their own effort.
hello!pls dont blame others if they got higher marks than u or wadsoever. 
just accept that fucking fact that u deserve that mark because u didnt study 
or maybe u studied last minute.dammit.
u dont like it when others are like ahead of you.i really dont understand you.i think i tried to.
many ppl are just too quiet and dont dare to talk to u like as if u are some big guy out there.blah!
if im the clever shit, then i gez u are the stupid shit.u know its STUPID.
actually i think everyone is born clever only that now its up to u to want to be clever anot.
why do we have to compete in all these?


i studied for my own good not to compete with u.not to see who got highest.
maybe u will kip denying the fact that u're not competing with anyone
 but let me tell you,your actions clearly shows that.
if we said we really dont know means we really dont know la.
then what,said that i can pass.
if we said can pass,then u will say tt we're like boasting ard.
but really we think we've got no confident of passing well
 and that is why we said we dont know.bla bla bla.
a good fren will be there for u no matter wad. 
and they will be happy for you when they see u happy too.
but i dont think this is happening.maybe u like to see us fall together?
i can be a good person and i can also be bad.
dont say that im not treating u the way i treat others.
maybe u asked for it.i rarely become so evil la.saying all these things to u.
if can i just want to be happy u know.i wan to be that happy farhanah.
doing stupid things.talking craps.bla bla bla.


hmmm.i nid my best frens now.i think they are the ones who know me the best.
who knows my stubborn attitude.in fact they know everything abt me.
maybe they haf been with me for years but these ppl,i know them for less than a year.
hais.i dont want to lose my best frens.i think i shud appreaciate and cherish these frens i turn to.
THANKS guys for being there for me all this while..
january is just so sucky for me and my family.many things haf happened lately.
do ppl even appreaciate me as their fren?thinking baq i dont know if im a good fren to them.
i know this is weird but sumtimes i do think of such stuffs.


if im a good fren then i think i wont be writing such entry and hurt his feelings ryte?
but why am i still doing it then?hais.
i read his and it really hurts me so im not trying to say im taking revenge.im not.
i just want him to know how im feeling now.
he shud not be too emotional and just think abt himself.
i think twice abt writing this entry.
so im just following my heart.
i went ard helping others but do they know abt me?abt my problem or my feelings?
i just wonder.


this mth is like full of sorrows than happiness.why is that so?stupid problems.
i just cant be bothered.im not trying to run away from all these problems 
but i would just appreaciate if ppl stop asking abt it 
and if i happen to blurt out all these,do listen to me and stop me if dragged too much.
i just dont wan to think of these problems but it will still kip haunting me.
i just hope that by not thinking abt all these,they will just vanish just like that.i wish.
and of coz boyf,i must haf hurt him like alot alot alot.
im really sry u haf to bear with these girlf of urs.
i dont know what is happening to me now.its not ur fault.its just me.
i clearly know that.but i dont know why am i still doing this.im just so sry you haf to
 see this side of farhanah.i dont show much.i know.thats me i gez.
i tried i cant.im so sry for being the one causing all these.
i srsly dont know wad is happening to me.

today haf been a really bad day for me minus off the part im with GF and SABRI.thnks guys.
but im really sry for what haf happened.being with bof of them just put a big smile on my face.
hee.im not trying to say that when im with the others im not smiling.
but they sumhow make my day today.
went to accompany GF to go see soccer match at NTU.
also can release stress so why not ryte?hmmm.
today didnt had our happy pill but still we're high when we're there.
hee.happy pill!(:
woah. wad a long entry.i just realised that.if u're reading till this part,i really appreaciate that.
hee.till here ppl!sry for all the vulgarities.hmmm.

[	Tags	|	high high high!	]
[	Current Mood	|	high	]

i was so f**king high la today.
i had that "high" pill.
so yea what a day!hee.
what a conversation too.(hmmm GFs,u know i know);
its just gona happen for that day alryte;hee.
syazzy will go for it ok.hahaha.
too much alr;farhanah have to ctrl this.
hmmm.

huhu.
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(: 
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(: 
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(: 
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(: 
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(: 

[	Tags	|	not my day.	]
[	Current Mood	|	sick	]

ok so he read & alr knew abt it.
hey friend,i really hope u know how i felt all these while.
I'm sry its a lil too harsh.
i dont know how to tell the person the truth,without hurting his feelings.
but i just hurt urs,ryte?sry.
ok i dont know how to put this properly,
im kinda harsh with words,im evil.
but ryte after i hurt that person,i will feel relieved.
but at the same time,i can kinda feel the pain myself.
it hurts me because i just feel so bad hurting the other person.
what if it happens to me.
mann.just feel so shitty now.
i dont haf the guts to tell u straight.
coz i dont wish to be that person to hurt u and spoil ur day.
anw,i just hope that things will be better now.i gez.

right now,im feeling so weak.
im having a very very bad flu.
sore throat.
cold sweat.
headache.
just taken panadol.
feels a bit better.
i shud be having my rest now.but nah,im going to do the slides for commkit.
stupid thing.arrgh!
and there is like a stupid concert at my hse area there.
the small park there.
singing and stuffs.so noisy!

oh yea today is mummy's bdae.supposed to go out but then cancel.
my father bought choc cake!hee.nice.nice.
and lotsa foods!
didnt had tt much.no appetite.
so yea,
Happy Birthday Mother!((:

[	Tags	|	u're asking for it.	]
[	Current Mood	|	grumpy	]

FUCK!arrgh!
ok sry to start the entry this way.
dont feel like blogging actually.but this is an alternative way of me letting out my problems.
im so pissed off with him.im hating him more and more now.
i just dont get it.wads wrong with him.
why am i receiving that kind of treatment.
maybe it doesnt matter to u.but fuck i've been tolerating u for a long time,for ur fucking info.
im not always like this.scolding vulgarities.
but when i hate that person so much,there it goes.
u forced me to do all this,to hate u, more and MORE!
someone pls tell me that u hate him too.arrgh!
or maybe im just thinking too much.
i dont know!

i spoke to syaz abt this.if she were to be in my shoes,she wud haf shoot at him man.
she just did that to a fren of hers.
so that goes to show that im still patient with him.
and im not being unreasonable here.
im not trying to rake up the past but sumtimes it haunts me,u see.
u're becoming some fucking self centered person now.dammit!
even the ppl i consider as friends agreed with me.
i've been keeping it for a long time.
so when i told fren abt it,i somehow burst into tears.
hey thnks fren!(:

the now me is so not me,i mean when im with the friends.
i dont talk that much now.i dont joke that much too.
afraid of being shout at.ok he didnt shout.
but the way he talk seems like shouting mann.
oh well wad to do,he always think hes right.
he always think hes funny.
and when im quiet,ppl will then start asking why am i like this?bla bla bla.
thnk goodness,i still haf my true real frens ard me,and of course boyfriend.
thnks guys!

fuhh!i think thats all abt him.
im not gg to think too much abt this.
he will hate me,i know.sooner or later he will.
but if hes a good fren and hes willing to accept wadever i've said,i wud greatly appreciate it.really.
but i've got a feeling that this wud not happen.idk why.
maybe he will say that all this happened last time la.why wud i haf to bring up that topic now.
or maybe he will said its just a small thing and im the one thinking too much.

hey guys,i know i blog like once a week now.
i haf got no mood
im lazy
internet connection so sucky.
blah!